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AYRE SELF POTENTIAL
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Derek Ayre, Hypnotherapist

EZINE. NO 1.

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Derek



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Hello and welcome to Ayre-Self-Potential e-zine. My name is Derek Ayre, and I am a registered hypnotherapist in Cardiff, South Wales, UK. I am registered with the National Council of Psychotherapists and National Council of Hypnotherapists (UK). I have been in practice since 1976:  (Update I am now in remi-retirment i.e. I no longer see clients on a face-to-face basis since 2009)

My main interests lie in self-development in all areas of life, and in my practice I have developed a unique combination of hypnosis and Zen-like interactive processes that produce powerful life skills that can be learned by anyone who is willing to make the commitment.

 

Hope you enjoy reading....

CONTENTS:

1. Self Development - Ayre you really willing? by Derek Ayre

2. Mind Processing - Commitment Formation by Derek Ayre

3. Transcending Problems by Derek Ayre

4. Zen Speak by Derek Ayre


1. Self Development - Are You Really Willing? by Derek Ayre

Without problems there would be no point in anything. There would be no sense of achievement. I mean, what would there be there to achieve? Therefore when you decide that you are going to embark on a course of self-development, you are going to feel a degree of resistance. The first thing you need to become aware of is how willing you really are to do what it takes.

So it's decision time. Are you really willing todo what is wanted and needed in order to improve the quality of your life?

Yes?

Are you sure?

Would you kill, steal, run naked through a city on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of winter, if that's what it took?

Time to think again. Errr.... Probably! Well I say 'probably' because you just might be an exhibitionist, devoid of all feelings of shame and compassion with a skin like a rhino to keep you warm! But there again, say you decide that becoming a millionaire would really improve the quality of your life, and somebody extremely rich offered you a million to streak naked around a busy shopping centre. What then? You'd either have to overcome your embarrassment and go for it, or come to the realization that you don't want a million THAT much.

Decisions, decisions!

Decisions have a tremendous power over us once we have made them, more power than we realize. Think of the word 'decide'. It's very similar to the words, homicide, genocide, germicide etc. It's this 'cide' part of the word that's interesting. It means kill. Kill a man, kill germs, kill a nation, and so on. So what do we kill when we de-cide?

I think we kill off the ability to take alternative action in a situation. As we grow up we learn the importance of making decisions. We are encouraged to make them, and this encouragement all too often comes from the advice of others, and because we have usually been hurried along to come to our (their) decision, we have often not thought it through properly. We are often told that someone who is indecisive is weak, and someone who is decisive strong; we decide to think and feel this way too! Well guess what we've decided we want to be? Strong and decisive of course! So many of our decisions are made in a hurry -- the quicker the better. Then deciding becomes a goal in itself -- not thought through properly. Made on the strength of someone else's understanding of OUR situations and what is appropriate for OUR life. These decisions are usually based on our hopes and belief-systems that are all too often incorrect. Sometimes, it may work out for us, but very often it does not and we become confused as to why our lives do not seem to function the way we want them to. When deciding in this way, we commit ourselves to act on concepts and not facts. If things go horribly wrong, we find it extremely difficult to deviate from our original decision because we have killed the ability to act alternatively. After all, we BELIEVE in ourselves and it should darn-well work! The difficulty is exacerbated with many folks because they have learned to make a decision and stick to it only too well.

Thanks for reading.

Derek

 

 

© Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.


2. Mind Processing - Commitment Formation by Derek Ayre

Making your life work

If you have visited my web pages, you should now be familiar with the transformational power of commitment. If you have not read this article, you can click here

Exercise:

Do the following exercise to strengthen your ability to commit to things you know are wanted and needed in your life.

Go through questions 1 to 4 consecutively, writing/typing down WHATEVER comes into mind until you find there's nothing more you can write. Then go on to question 5, and spend about 10 minutes going through it over and over again writing WHATEVER comes to mind.

1. What am I NOT doing?

2. Am I willing to do it? (If it comes up no for you, go back to question 1).

3, What time and what day am I going to start it? (Enter date and time)

4. What time and what day am I going to complete it? (Enter date and time, but be sure the deadline you have set yourself is feasible).

Go on to question 5 after you have exhausted all the questions from 1 to 4.

5, What have I realized from doing this exercise? (Work on this question for about 10 minutes).

Good luck and thanks for reading.

Derek

© Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.


3. Transcending Problems by Derek Ayre

One can only transcend a problem when he/she is making it OK for it to exist exactly the way it exists.

I was watching a TV documentary the other day on people with phobias. What I noticed was that the younger the phobic person, the quicker he seemed to reach a resolution. There was a man with a phobia of heights, who was practically guaranteed a cure for his problem if he was willing to do what it took. And what did it take? Climbing to the top of a church tower and leaning out of the one of the glass-less windows, accompanied by the therapist of course.

After nearly backing out of this task several times, the therapist and an assistant eventually got him up to the top of the tower. There was much persuading and cajoling until he gingerly looked out of the window. It was quite safe because there was a stout iron rail imbedded into the stone at each side of the frame.

Later he was taken on the ladder of a fire engine and finally up a huge communications tower, this time with a huge reinforced glass window all around it about 8 feet in height. Looking through this window gave the illusion of there being nothing between him and the ground hundreds of feet below.

After doing these tasks he felt much better about his phobia but could not claim he was completely cured. Mind you he was comparing himself to his brother who was a steeple jack.

There was a little boy, around 8 years old, with a fear of dogs. He seemed to overcome his fear much more quickly and completely. The same process of approaching the objects of his fear was used, and in no time at all, he was happily playing with a neighbour's dog in his garden.

The difference in cure rates appears to be that the younger the person, the more innocent trust he will put in the adults who are trying to help him. When a child is willing, he/she seems more ready and willing to face up to and conquer his/her fears with greater ease. I have found this in my practice also. The more ready and willing a person/child is to do what it takes, the quicker the resolution of the problem. However, with children, the opposite can also be true, especially when there are authoritarian adults trying to exert their influence and FORCE the child to conquer his fears. The child will nearly always resist. This resistance can be detected when the child seems to exhibit a them (adults) and us (children) attitude towards the adults around him trying to assist. For instance, this can manifest in the child obviously responding the way he/she thinks the adults want him/her to respond and then carry on not doing a thing to help himself.

What is needed here is an approach to the child displaying a regard to him/her as an equal. When an equal relationship can be created, the child can then be asked if he/she is willing to do what it takes to overcome his/her phobia; he/she can be asked if he/she is happy living with the way things are. Then, if he feels he/she can trust the adult not to talk down to him or ridicule his/her phobia, he/she will be willing to work with the adults and not resist all their efforts to improve his/her situation.

So, to assist a young person who suffers from a phobia or behavioural problems, get them on side first. If you keep regarding them as intelligent individuals in their own right, it will show in your interactions with them and they will start to gain trust.

If you feel you wish to answer to this article and/or have ideas of your own you wish to express,

Thanks for reading.

Derek

© Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved

This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.

 


4. Zen Speak by Derek Ayre

What is Zen?

Zen is difficult, if not impossible to explain using words. One needs to practice it, for it is more a way of life than anything else. Zen is how each person perceives it. It is more of an experiential phenomenon than a belief system.

Zen is not bound to any religion even though one may often hear the term Zen Buddhism. Shakyamuni Buddha discovered it some 2,500 years ago. What he discovered was the art of zazen (Zen meditation where the aim is to completely still the mind). He found that sitting in zazen brought him to the discovery that all was the way it was and totally OK for it to be that way. Everything was the way it was meant to be. He then travelled to China and Japan teaching his discovery. At no time did he claim to be a god or son of a god, just an ordinary man who discovered a profound spark within himself, which, he also asserted, lived in every other being.

In Zen, we reach into our lives to experience our liveliness. I use the word experience here because it is not an intellectual pursuit, but a way of living that assists in developing a greater ability to experience living in the here and now, and not just in our concepts. Indeed you can have a professor or an illiterate experiencing the profundities of Zen on an equal footing.

Those who have come into contact with Zen and practised its disciplines discover that their lives are never quite the same afterwards.

Thanks for reading.

Derek


If you have any comments or experiences of Zen you would like to share, please feel free to

Quotes and Questions

It's about making a distinction between becoming obsessive and Zen focus. Obsession is makyo.

--Derek

Obsession is total attachment. Zen focus is attachment in the spirit of non-attachment.

--Julide

If you have a question or statement that you would like me to respond to in Quotes and Questions, please with the subject line marked "Quotes and Questions"

Please feel free to write in with any feedback on any of the articles. Ideas, suggestions, criticism are all welcome. Just

  © Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved

This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.


This e-zine are not meant to be psychotherapeutic or medical in nature. All information is published in good faith, and neither the publisher nor editor accepts responsibility for the accuracy of the information presented. If you feel you have a psychological or medical problem, the author strongly advises you to seek help of an appropriate qualified psychiatric or medical practitioner.


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© Copyright 2000 Derek Ayre. All rights reserved

AYRE SELF POTENTIAL  

Friday, August 04, 2000


Hello and welcome to Ayre-Self-Potential e-zine. My name is Derek Ayre, and I am a registered hypnotherapist in Cardiff, South Wales, UK. I am registered with the National Council of psychotherapists and National Council of Hypnotherapists (UK). I have been in practice since 1976.

My main interests lie in self-development in all areas of life, and in my practice I have developed a unique combination of hypnosis and Zen-like interactive processes that produce powerful life skills that can be learned by anyone who is willing to make the commitment.

Hope you enjoy reading....

CONTENTS:

1. It's Down to Specifics (Mental Exercise) by Derek Ayre.

2. Living with the question by Derek Ayre

3. Zen Speak: The Art of Focussing in Everyday Life by Derek Ayre

4. Quotes and Questions by Derek Ayre.

5. Denial by Derek Ayre


1. It's Down to Specifics.

Many people do not realize their true desires simply because they have not got specific on those desires. The following exercise will assist you in becoming clear about your intentions in life. Go through the following questions and write down your responses, no matter what pops into your consciousness - whether or not it makes sense. Spend about 10 minutes on each question.

1. Personal Relationships:

What's wanted and needed to improve your personal relationships? What are you willing to do to bring about such improvement.

2 Family/friendship Relationships:

What's wanted and needed to improve your family and friendship relationships? What are you willing to do to bring about such improvement.

3. Working Relationships and Organizations:

What's wanted and needed to improve your working relationships and your relationship to organizations. What are you willing to do to bring about such improvement.

4. Society:

What do you need to do to improve you relationship to the rest of society? What are you willing to do to bring about such improvement.

After going through the four questions, close your eyes and take a deep breath in through the nostrils until you have fully inhaled, hold in for as long as you can, then release the breath slowly and gently through the mouth. When fully exhaled, hold for a few seconds then repeat the whole inhalation/exhalation process another two times.

Finally go through each of your responses and make your specific commitments to make a difference in your life.

Thanks for reading.

Derek

If you feel you wish to answer to this article and/or have ideas of your own you wish to express,

© Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved

This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.


2. Living With the Question by Derek Ayre

What is the mind? This question has plagued greater thinkers for thousands of years so perhaps we'd be better asking, "What does mind do?"

It records 'data' we pick up from the time we are born. But what about before we were born?

We are in the womb and our tiny bodies are growing. Mind must be involved in that process. Some intelligence is at work there; some intelligence that we are not aware of. Therefore, this demonstrates that mind must operate and exist with or without awareness. So being capable of creating a complete human, it seems that mind is not just a recording device. It does more than just record data - or does it?

So, let's get a debate going here. If you feel you wish to answer to this article and/or have ideas of your own you wish to express,

See the responses - or lack of them - in the next issue.

Thanks for reading.

Derek

Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved

This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.


3. Zen Speak. The Art of Focusing in Everyday Life by Derek Ayre

Think about how you handle the mundane. You sweep the yard or wash your dishes. Do you really 'do it' or is your mind galloping towards your next task or your leisure time later on? Be honest now!

We all have to do tasks we detest or, at best, intensely dislike. Now, pay close attention. These detested tasks, are opportunities for growth and development. Through the mundane you can discover the profound.

If you are rushing through the mundane, you are rushing away large sections of your life. You are not staying in touch with your current experience - your current reality. In order to rectify this, you'll need to shift your point of view, that is the 'attitudinal position' you hold about the task in question. Welcome the mundane as part of your life experience.

To do this, you'll first have to acknowledge it fully, by mentally focusing on what needs to be done. Be aware of your physical sensations and feelings. Let them be - this is what is practiced in zazen (Zen meditation). When you consider doing this task where are you 'coming from'? Anger? Boredom? Resentment at doing what you don't really want to do? How did you learn to be this way? Stay with it until the feeling evaporates. Write it all out if you wish, exactly how you feel. That's right. It will evaporate if you open up to it! Then, you may find yourself enjoying a task that only a short while ago, you detested. But , and a very important 'but', do not try to MAKE yourself like the idea. Just keep focusing on the idea of the task with quiet acceptance of what you are about to do. Once you start to feel indifferent to the task, go and do it - you should find now that there is even an element of satisfaction in doing it.

Becoming Mindful.

If you are sweeping the back yard (for instance), concentrate your mind on every sweep of the broom. Focus on how the bristles bend and straighten up again. Focus on every speck of dirt in every corner as you come to it. Be in the moment of NOW with your experience of sweeping. Maintain the attitude that if one speck of dirt, a leaf from a tree or a petal from a flower remains, the yard is not fully swept.

When you've done, you can stand for a while and admire your excellent work before nature sets to work to untidy it all again. At this point, realize that everything is in a constant state of regeneration and degeneration. That is one of life's paradoxes. Notice that your feelings of satisfaction of completing your task will degenerate also. Through techniques like this 'mindfulness', your mastery of life can grow from strength to strength, providing you realize that where there's paradox - and life it a paradox - you have to engage into it fully - go with the flow.


Quotes and Questions

Focus for quality in everything you do. Mundane and otherwise. To do anything without focus and without the aim of doing it mindfully and without an aim to perfection - is to get into makyo. Even making yourself a cup of coffee, the Zen way is to do every movement focussed and zazen-like - or you sink into makyo, trying to escape into your plans for the day and future etc. - more makyo.

--Derek.

I've just made myself a cup of herbal tea with Zen mindfulness. Now I'm drinking it with mindfulness too. It's good for my health. I'm consuming the healing properties. What a joy!!!

--Julide.

If you have a question or statement that you would like me to respond to in Quotes and Questions, please with the subject line marked "Quotes and Questions"

Please feel free to write in with any feedback on any of the articles. Ideas, suggestions, criticism are all welcome. Just

© Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved

This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.


5. Denial by Derek Ayre

Denial is a defensive mechanism - a consideration of anything that is considered to be 'too painful' to face up to, and we reach these considerations automatically from past associations with painful events in our lives. Once experienced, we do not want to, or are encouraged NOT to talk or think about such events.

Because these events are issues that we do not want to face or talk about, the subconscious mind is only obeying our conscious wishes and repressing them for us. It's only doing its job with the idea that we have programmed it with. And that idea is that we have to be protected, not only from the memory of such events, but from the danger these events represent, even though the danger may have occurred only at the time of the original event. Then, because the subconscious mind doesn't recognize the passing of time, and also doesn't recognize the fact that we are older and better equipped to deal with such matters, it just continues to warn us of dangers that are no longer there. So we feel ourselves avoiding certain things - especially if we feel we have to stick our necks out and take a risk from time to time.

By accepting and acknowledging our feelings and being prepared to face and encounter that which scares us, we can transcend those feelings, providing that we don't run away again. If we do, we reinforce the feelings for the next time the issue comes up. Obviously, I am talking here about irrational fears and anxieties that seem to keep blocking our path to success, not the natural fears that exert themselves on our consciousness when we see a vicious animal or anything else that can really hurt us.

Fears such as fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of feeling small, or feeling stupid. If we keep being willing to encounter these sort of fears, by doing all those things that really scare us, and keep our awareness focused on those very feelings - as we are doing them, we will suddenly find ourselves feeling comfortable with the feared situation. We would then have faced and conquered our own self-created, self-defeating ghosts.

Thanks for reading.

Derek

© Copyright: Derek Ayre. 2000. All rights reserved

This article may be re-printed exactly how it appears here including the copyright notice. Just send me an email of where and when it will appear.

 


Articles in this e-zine are not meant to be psychotherapeutic or medical in nature. All information is published in good faith, and neither the publisher nor editor accepts responsibility for the accuracy of the information presented. If you feel you have a Psychological or medical problem, the author strongly advises you to seek help of an appropriate qualified psychiatric or Medical practitioner.

 


 

 


Derek Ayre is a registered hypnotherapist and practitioner of Zen. He has an ability to assist others on their path to greater self fulfilment and realization of their true potential.

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